part II

"I still haven't found what I'm looking for" U2

Just follow the rules, why do you want to cause trouble, can't you just be like the rest of us, what's wrong with you/ are you on drugs, I don't know who you are anymore. You need to get married and start a family, ugh, these were all the comments bombbarding me from my family. I couldn't talk to any of my friends about this whole thing for one they all had families and I didn't think that they would understand. I tried putting all of this on a back burnner, however, I don't do simmer very well . It was in my last semester in college durring mid-terms , minutes away from beginning the tests. I decided that going to the restroom would be an excellent idea. All I had to do was cross the hall, at the percise second that my hand extended for the door BAM! to the floor I go. I openned my eyes and saw the most handsomest man I'd ever seen. He was kneeling beside me, "Hello, are you alright, I'm so sorry I was going to the restroom and I'm so sorry are you ok, here take my hand." He extends his hand and gently lifts me , still holding me, ( I must have been wobbly), " Can I help you get back to your class?" Finally , my words form but there is no sound so I point to the room across the hall. "Are you sure your alright?" All I did manage to say is "mm". I had never seen him before and it would be a while before I would see him again. I had given up on "Mystery Man" , I decided it was all a fluke anyway. Days/weeks/months . One day on my way out to my car he drives by me, stops , backs up and we begin to date, four years later we get married after he came back from Naval Officers 's School. Things were good for awhile, I learned to cook but not like his Mother and thus the arguements began, he would eat at Mom's come home to me and what was I suppose to do with all of this food? One thing lead to another, then the physical fights , all because I was cutting out coupons and reciepies. It went on and on ,over and over, until one night I'd had all I could stand. I thought the unthinkable , at the last split second I decided I wasn't ready to make new friends and murder still wasn't legal yet. Yes, I was this miserable. I felt like there was no-one who'd want to listen , my bruises wheren't just physical but deep emotional damage. My self esteem was gone. I had to get out but how ?