Thursday, January 26, 2006

The Story Of How I Named This Blog

It all began while on the bus going to Andrea's first tourament. I had been thinking about blogging before we left to go to San Diego, unfortunately I had no idea what to call it. Wanda's World sounded eh, no I don't think so. Then there we were in the hotel and everyone had t-shirt's that were making some sort of statements. I was watching the experts assemble the pool tables, adjust the legs and level the table, adjust some more, read the level again. When this man walked by wearing a t-shirt that said ,"Does this condom make me look fat", and I heard a voice exclaim, "Perfect". I always look for signs, wheter they are real signs or what have you. This goes way back in my early life and times, when my Mom worked and the sweetest dearest lady took care of me, I was all of about 4 yrs. old. , we'd go over to the Indian Mounds and walk the trails and I 've never felt more at home than when I'm in the woods. Mary had a very hard time getting me to wear clothes. I always wanted to be free to expirence everything, the grass between my toes, the wind pressing on my back as I ran wildly around the old wooden house. I wasn't born into my family that I grew up in, I was #6 ,( my favorite number by the way) . I don't know the whys and how comes all I know is that I'm ever so grateful for the outcome and that someone cared enough to adopt me. There was a time when I was very angry about being robbed of growing up without my 4 brothers and 1 sister. It's taken alot of years to get over it, but there were days when I'd given anything to have a sister to be able to call and see what she's up too. I didn't even know except that I always felt disconnected like my roots weren't anchored properly. I asked my Mom over and over, the conversation always ended the same way both of us upset with each other. One day while at work I recieved a phone call, the lady knew stuff that only I knew so I became my own detective and did more reseach and soon I located my birth Mom. One Easter, I skipped the main service and went and met my birth Mom. Holy cow was I ever nervous, I wasn't sure what I was openning up. Well, very strange how things turn out. She had been watching me grow up from afar as I was the only one of the six that lived in the same town . We both cried and hugged and cried some more. She told me how the family had fallen apart and how she did what she thought was best for all of us. How it nearly killed her and how she had prayed that one day she'd get to really see me. She said my sister had been trying to reach me and the only way my birth/mom could think of getting hold of me was through the person that had phoned me at work. Some how here I felted betrayed, if this person knew all of this why did I have to go through two years of hell narrowing down this trail. I left her duplex feling a wide range of emotions. I wanted to lash out at someone, so I went for a long ride. I found myself at the Indian Mounds sitting in the hut where they'd smoke and talk over dreams. All I could do was cry. I 'd sworn off all crying at ten years old, never again would anyone ever see me crying. The sunlight began to change in the hut so I got up and went home to my trailer. All I could do was listen to was Hall and Oates, Private Eyes, finally with a very tear soaked pillow I fell asleep~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~part II~~ tomorrow

8 comments:

Michelle said...

Wow, what a moving story. An interesting life you've had to say the least. I am so glad you found your birth mum, it's so important to feel connected to something, that feeling of belonging is so important. I look forward to part 2 :)

Wendy C. said...

I am stunned.
I don't know why I would be..it's just that I always found your writing to be so humorous and light hearted - how could I have overlooked the depth that it springs from. I can't wait for part two...and thank you :-)

X said...

This is such an amazing story...I'm always interested to hear about adopted children and their birth parents because I know someone who is in the middle of a search for hers and I see how tough it can be. I'm waiting with bated breath for part two. You really know how to end off a post so it's a cliff-hanger :)

Anonymous said...

Chick! You realy have a way with words. Don't be offended that I called you a "chick" from me it's a term of endearment.

Skye said...

Ok, ya'll hang tight, I just got in from work and believe me it was a "Journey from the Twlight Zone": I got to regroup and I'll get right on it. xoxo's

riskybiz said...

I can feel the emotion through your words. Very powerful!

Skye said...

riskbiz thank you for coming by .

Skye said...

LOL! God bless all of you, I really appreciate each and everyone of you, thanks you all ROCK!